Life · Spiritual Journey

Out of Focus 

  Sometimes they’re not the problem, it’s you.

I have to admit it, I have a temper. I become very unreasonable, and being like that has been causing me to act against my new nature.

My first semester in college went so well because my eyes were all on God. He and I had a personal relationship during my summer and I got to know who He really is. Because of the bond we created, all the strength, wisdom, positivity was all given by Him. I always worked for Him with joy, I dedicated all my good grades and personality to Him so I could glorify His name; however the longer I experinced college, the more I took control of my life.

I admit I haven’t been spending time with Him, and I know it’s bad because earthly thoughts have started to get to me lately. I went back to how I was, I gained my temper back and became terribly unreasonable with people. I started having no patience with some of my classmates, I also started thinking badly of people and hurting them through my words of anger – like my brother whom I disrespected yesterday. He threw a shoe at me for disrespecting him, and I think I really deserve that. It’s painful, honestly, that I am like that now.

I know I need to focus on God because He is telling me through this chaos that I am out of focus. I am no longer doing things for Him, no longer living for Him, but living for myself. I need to seriously reconnect with God because it’s not healthy for me or for the people around me at all.

I have to go back to the reason why I chose Him in the first place. Please keep praying for me, as I will also be praying for you. I shall update you soon on how God is will get me through of this difficulty.


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