Life · Spiritual Journey

Pursue Intimacy with God

11.21.2015

That message, that very message was meant for me to see tonight. I cannot express how touched I am, praise the Lord for this night.

Lately I chose to withdraw from God because I felt that with my new nature in Him it was so terrible of me to sin greatly. I disrespected my brother a few days ago, I said hurtful words to my mother and my twin and I felt so unworthy. I felt so bad about myself I couldn’t bring myself to eat with them. What’s worse is that I couldn’t even approach Him or pray because I was ashamed of myself.

But tonight, God spoke to me. He reminded me of what He has allowed His son to do for us, He reminded me that Jesus died for our sins. God loves us so much, he wants to be with us sinful people. We are not worthy of it at all, but God has given it. He gave it all to know YOU, for you to be with Him forever. He loves us so much.

He reminded me that I have gone back to my sinful nature because I did not love him enough, I looked at myself more than I looked at Him. It came to a point where I made an excuse to not go to small group meetings because I was lazy to. It was all about me.

Pastor said something true, if your pursuit is not God everything crumbles down. That is exactly what happened to me this past month. I crumbled down. But the beautiful thing in that is despite that I’ve sinned again, God keeps reminding me that He has forgiven me of all my sins. God is so gracious isn’t He? But of course, He tells me I really really need to take Him seriously. I pray I do not take the Lord for granted.. If I really love Him, I will do anything for Him out of my own will and with powerful will.

I feel lighter after listening to the lecture and after truly praying to Him willingly and feeling His love after a long while. I cried a lot watching the message, He made me feel a lot and learn a lot within an hour. He really speaks to us in personal ways.. I really pray to keep encountering Him more and that my focus may be shifted from myself to intimacy with the Lord. The feeling I get with Him is of no equivalence to anything in this world. You too would long for it when you get to feel Him (T-T)

. . . sigh . . .

Please keep praying for me as I will be doing so for you! God bless you ♡

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